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Book ReviewsAdopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families With Special-Needs Kids : A Guide for Parents and Professionals |
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Book: Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families With Special-Needs Kids : A Guide for Parents and Professionals
Written by: Gregory C. Keck Regina M. Kupecky |
Publisher: Navpress Publishing Group
Average Customer Rating: 5.0 / 5
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Dead-on
Rating:
5 / 5
My wife and I adopted a 5 and 7 yr old from Russia in Sept 2004. They have been diagnosed as mildly RAD, but RAD nonetheless. RAD is Reactive Attachment Disorder for those of you just beginning a path to adoption of older children. I can say from first-hand experience of the past six months that what Keck has written is true, verified and helpful in many ways. I would highly recommend this as a read while you are CONSIDERING adopting older children, domestic or otherwise. It is best to be prepared and accepting of the conditions that you will likely face before you suddenly realize what's going on with your child(ren). Between Keck and Nancy Thomas (When Love is Not Enough), your preparation for dealing with the behaviors that will sooner or later emerge will be rewarded in your ability to maintain some sanity in your home. You are also welcome to view our online story at http://www.hakpenguin.com/adoption_news.cfm
A Landmark Book on Attachment & Adoption
Rating:
5 / 5
Two years ago, we assumed guardianship of my husband's troubled 12-year old niece. She was my husband's sister's child and came from a "House of Horrors." Every conceivable problem existed. Drug abuse, domestic violence, sick pornography, sibling incest, severe parental neglect, sarcasm, ridicule, brutality and denial. She came from the inner city, to our sheltered, happy home in the suburbs. It was akin to someone moving to a foreign country. Fortunately, I read "Adopting the Hurt Child." The book was a lifesaver. I do not exaggerate. Social workers and incompetent therapists seemed to blame us for her problems, (and we hadn't had her for even a year). The authors said this is common. Adoptive parents take the heat for the original family's neglect. The authors nailed every single issue, or problem, with razor sharp accuracy. Our niece is an actress with attachment issues. She wears masks. She plots, she cannot "be." She was never taught real love or how to be with people. Her presence in our household really shook us to the core. She acted coquettish and manipulative with my husband; snide to me (the mom). I do not see the book as negative, but as candid. Love isn't always enough. Movies may have happy endings, but real life is altogether different. Sometimes, these children do not get better. At least, empowered with the advice of this book, you can seek better therapy treatments, know what kind of therapist to hire, and sniff out the bad ones immediately. Now, two years later, we found an attachment therapist. This terrific therapist cannot be manipulated. She is both tough and compassionate. We made more progress with her -- in three sessions, than our niece did with a sex abuse counselor in a year. Our niece still has many problems, and time will tell. We are hanging in there. And I still reference this book. It's just superb. God bless both the authors.
It tells it the way it is!
Rating:
5 / 5
This is an excellent book and a must for anyone considering fostering or adopting a child older than the age of one. Before getting our first set of foster children (sibling group of 4) I could not make it half way through the book, because it upset me so much. I just could not believe that it was really like they said it was. IT IS EXACTLY LIKE THEY SAID IT WAS! After having the chilren a couple of months I read the book through being able to relate to everything they said. It is all extremely sad, but true. And if anyone wants to help these children , they must be aware of their needs so they can meet them. Love is just not enough. I had a friend, who has adopted 8 children, tell me that before our endeavor, and I did not believe her. Now I know she is right and now I listen to every word of advice she can give me. This book will open your eyes to the sad, hard truth. Read it and weep, but it WILL prepare you to understand and help these children. I wish everyone the very best and when you get discouraged, ask yourself if that child would have been better off if they had never come into your home. I am sure your answer will be "NO." And when you are done with the book, give it to your social worker to read. Of course they could never completely understand until they have fostered or adopted themselves, but it is a start.
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